My mom has influenced and shaped my life more than any other human. Mom is the one who taught me who Jesus is and what He has done for me. This became my greatest treasure in life.
From my earliest memories I have no memory of Mom being angry with me. I gave her plenty of reasons to be. I have memories of being disciplined….but not with anger. My only memories are of my mom’s kindness and care for me. I can’t put into words the powerful effect this had on me. The Bible says that “a kindhearted woman gains respect”. Mom was a living example to me of this truth.
She was a joyful mother. After five difficult years of wanting to have children, Mom was told that she would never be able to have children. The LORD proved that doctor to be very wrong…..and gave Mom and Dad three girls. Mom lived in the joy of that gift everyday of her life. We were the recipients of her joy in being our mother. It’s one thing to fulfill your responsibilities because you should….it’s another thing to do it with joy. I have so many memories of us all singing together…or getting into giggle fits (Mom included!)…Mom reading to us…making cookies together…. The joy she had in mothering had a profound effect on me.
Mom loved music. She was a piano major at Nyack College. She knew the technical aspects of music…..but she loved the simple experience of music….the movement of music. Dad was an interim pastor of a Black Baptist church when I was 8 years old. I remember the first Sunday we were there. The choir clapped and swayed when they sang. I wasn’t sure what to think. I looked at Mom and she was swaying and tapping her leg. She loved the movement of music. This was a vivid moment in my life that opened a door to freedom.
Mom was the most hospitable woman I have ever known. Her hospitality went far beyond having people over for dinner. Mom and Dad had people stay with them for days…even weeks as they convalesced from illness or as they were traveling. They extended themselves to their neighbors and treated them like family (a whole book could be written about how they did this). She and Dad went beyond the normal opportunities to extend hospitality and brought meals to AIDS patients for years. They did this during their “retirement”.
Mom was raised in a Christian home. At some point in her young life, her parent’s faith became her own. As she matured she began to feel her indebtedness to God—that He had made her and that she belonged to Him. She lived in a small, rural town in Eastern Ohio. She worked at the Post Office after high school. No one had any expectation that she would ever leave. But she longed to follow God in whatever He wanted for her. One night when no one was home she knelt down at the couch in the living room and poured out her longing to God. She told Him that she wanted whatever life He had for her and that she wanted to consecrate herself to Him. Immediately she felt that God told her to go to Nyack College. When her parents came home she told them what she felt God had said to her. Classes were to start in 2 weeks! But she knew that if it was God’s will, then all the doors would open to her. Two weeks later she was in Nyack, New York attending her first class. One year later she was sitting on the steps of her dorm when she saw this handsome guy pull up in his pickup truck loaded with students. He jumped out and ran in to the college Post Office. Then he bounded back down the stairs and drove away. She was instantly drawn to him.
The life that God had for Mom required courage. Many, many moves. A year alone raising 3 girls with Dad in Viet Nam. Living in other countries. She learned to meet fears and anxieties with prayer. Prayer wasn’t a religious exercise for Mom. It was time with her trusted Savior. Mom prayed her way through things. Her family has come to rely on Mom’s prayers.
Mom loved Dad. We watched their love for each other only deepen and grow sweeter as the years went on. Mom was devoted to this man. We 3 girls have had the amazing honor of watching Mom’s love, respect and self-less devotion to Dad. She would do anything for him with no thought for herself. Her most difficult day in all her illness was Dad’s birthday, because she couldn’t do anything for him.
A couple of weeks before Mom’s death I told her that “I thought that when she reached Heaven and was walking into the city she would hear loud and escalating cheering. You’re going to think that someone really great must be coming up behind you. You’re going to suddenly realize that they’re cheering for you.” She looked at me with her “I-don’t-know-what-you-are-talking-about” look. I laughed and said, “Oh, that is definitely going to happen!” Mom’s greatness lay in the reality that she never saw herself as great. She was not relying on her goodness to qualify her for Heaven’s streets. She was relying solely on Jesus’ goodness. On His loving and self-less life and death. And in turn He enabled her to live an extraordinarily loving and self-less life.
Her reward awaits her.
Comment from Cynthia: Thank you so much for your comments. I treasure each one. Thank you for helping me honor my mother.
Wonderful service yesterday. Still thanking God for your mother’s impact and how it will keep going even while she’s in heaven. Love you friend!
Wonderful service yesterday. Thank you Cynthia for opening up this part of your life with us. I am a richer person after yesterday.
What a beautiful tribute, Cynthia — I wish I could have been there yesterday.
Thank you for sharing your mom with us. I was greatly encouraged. Love the photo… a special photo indeed.
this is so beautiful, Cynthia! i am in tears. i am so thankful for faithful and joyful women like your mother. i loved reading these details about her. thank you for sharing them. love you. xo
You have written a most AMAZING tribute to your mom, Cynthia. I couldn’t help but tear up as I read along. May God truly extend His loving comfort to you and the entire family as you mourn the loss of this wonderful woman!
Cynthia,I took my girls to your mom’s service yesterday and they were struck by 2 things; 1. that you never saw your mom angry and 2. that she saw a real angel. Your words were beautiful and being there was a blessing and an encouragement to me and my girls. Praying
Dearest Cynthia,
Just learned about your Mom’s passing into Glory last evening. (at the lake house for several days…)So sad that I wasn’t able to attend the service yesterday. Your tribute of your Mother is so inspiring and effecting…she truly was a woman who had NOT wasted her life. And your example, Cynthia, of selfless and joy-filled care for her during her last days/weeks on earth gives me hope in the powerful grace of God to accomplish such character in my life. You model these verses from II Peter 1:3-8…you possess these godly qualities in increasing measure and are effective and productive in your example. Thank you for sharing your heart…sharing your life.
With much love,
Carol Erk
Cynthia, how I wish we could be with you but we also trust that the God of all comfort has brought you peace through this knowing that we will all be together again one day. What a wonderful testimony of God’s grace in your mom’s life. She lived an exemplary life that both challenges me to serve God to the fullest and gives me hope that God can use all of us.
Thank you so much for sharing and for also being an example to me as your mom was to you. I miss you very much and love you! God bless, Heather Drew
Sweet, Heather. I miss you, too!!! Thank you for your kind words. We love you all…..
Cynthia
Dear Cynthia~
I love how you have honored your Mom by verbally paying tribute to the life Christ displayed through her. You have not only honored your Mom, but you have brought glory to God through the testimony of His work in her life. Thank you for shaing. How encouraging!
Having lost my Mom only a year and a half ago, the memories are still fresh in my mind of the day we said good-bye…..for now. It was a time of great joy knowing she was going home to be with our Lord, but also a day of great saddness knowing that I would not have the chance to speak to her again, or see her smile. I miss her still.
Being reminded of that loss causes me to remember the scripture that says, “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (My prayer is that during this time of mourning, we can fulfill this scripture for you Cynthia, and your family, by bringing you comfort, as we ourselves have received from God.)
And so, I would like to share with you the scripture that brought great comfort to me during the loss of my Mom.
Psalm 116:15 says, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” This scripture helped me to think about death from God’s view. That a dying saint is an object of special notice to the Lord, and even though we are left behind to mourn the loss of our loved one. the Lord delights in having His people with Himself. In the next block, I want to send you the words to the song….Precious in the sight of the Lord. It is comforting.
Our prayers and thoughts are with you!
Jacqui D’Antonio
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.
Precious is the time when He calls to Himself His own.
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.
Precious the time when He takes them home.
To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.
To see the face of Jesus is our reward.
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.
There’s great rejoicing ’round His throne,
When one comes in whose sins He’s atoned,
It’s the sweetest welcome ever known.
When the earth is dry and thirsty, God in love sends healing rain.
When we let our tears flow freely, they’re His gift to ease our pain.
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.
Precious is the time when He calls to Himself His own.
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.
Precious the time when He calls to them: “It’s time – come home.”
Precious the time when the Lord takes His children home.
Cynthia, I feel so rich – thank you for opening up your life and the preciousness of your relationship with your mom and your Savior.
Sarah
Thanks Cynthia! I know I am late, but I loved reading about your mother and love looking at the photo above. I can\’t imagine how she loved these last few months even through her suffering- just getting to be around her daughter Cynthia, grandchildren and even great-grandchildren! She looks so joyful in that photo. I can only hope to be all that she was to her husband and children… to my future little one in my belly. I feel so overwhelmed with the thought of BEING the gospel to a child… through loving my little one and cheerfully serving my family. It is good to be reminded I can rely on Christ to do that through me. That he chooses the weak and the unwise for his purposes. =) Praying for you as I am sure you miss her (and your father, too) <3, Linda
They were wonderful role models and Steve always commented that they must be angels or saints. They always held a special place in our hearts and we were so lucky to have the privilege of knowing them.. Dear Family, I just got a call from my husband Steve telling me of your mothers passing. My heart skipped a beat and then rejoiced knowing she is safe. We had the great privilege of being your mom and dads neighbors for 22 years. I have a picture of them on my ever present vision board reminding me of how to have a long marriage.