In chapter six, author Mark Chanski lays out for us that is clearly biblical for the woman to be the child nurturer rather than the man. “Motherhood is an honorable and sacred vocation. The King of Heaven has specially appointed the mother to accomplish a noble and lofty mission” (101). From time-to-time I must admit, I don’t feel like I am accomplishing any noble tasks. Many things that I do each day are undone within minutes, even seconds. “What’s the point,” is a question that can enter my mind. There is also the wrong thought of desiring for my husband to take over some of my roles when he gets home–the whole 50/50 parenting mindset that the culture puts forth. This is a pit that we can easily fall in to anger and bitterness if we expect our husbands to be our helpers rather than the other way around. We should welcome their help, but not expect it.
Questions to consider: As a mother, are you ever tempted in similar ways as me? Do you ever question what’s the point? What good am I doing each day? Do you ever expect your husband to do what God is calling you to do as mother and homemaker?
In chapter seven, Chanski seeks to inspire us towards excellency in 
motherhood. He does so by using a variety of models for us. I found it encouraging on page 109, where he was talking about the difference between a child raised by a mother with a biblical view of motherhood and a mother with a non-biblical view of motherhood–he made the point that our children will bear burdens and go through trials. If I stay faithfully at my post in the home, I have the opportunity to build up my children’s souls to withstand those storms that lie ahead. That section put life back into what seems meaningless or unproductive in my days.
Another part of the chapter that inspired me was the section discussing the ongoing need for mothers to stay home even when their children are older. “She [Chanski's wife] was a maternal air traffic controller, directing and nurturing the lives of her offspring who were now making crucial decisions that would determine the courses of the rest of their lives. Both the stakes and the stress levels were higher than they’d ever been” (112). I am only eight years into motherhood, but I can see the temptation to look ahead and think it will be so much easier down the road then where I am at in these early years. I think when they are older they won’t require so much work, and yet they will just in a different ways then now–many of which will prove to be more difficult. I can lack joy now thinking it’s just too hard, too taxing.
Questions to consider: Do you have biblical convictions of what motherhood should be? Do you have faith for all God is calling you to do as a mother?
I very often expect my dear husband to help me with my responsibilities. Even worse, if he does offer to help, then I expect him to help even more. I have been trying to evaluate what sin is motivating me, and I think it is mostly self-pity. I am over-worked, under-appreciated, down-trodden, and the whole world’s slave (even as I write this I am smiling at the ridiculousness of my thought patterns!). This is a faithless response on my part. The kind Lord of the universe has sovereignly set my boundaries, and graciously given me the work of my hands. I am HIS servant, set apart to work for his kingdom in my home. May the Lord change my heart, and make me a willing servant.
Married in 1977 and had 5 kids in 8 years. Much to do, to teach, and to become. Exhausting. Realized late the value of Micah 6:8. Ahhh, peace… and then the priority of Prov 31:10 – excellent wife who can find? She makes a great mom! Keep it simple, life is short.
Great post, Brenda.
I can easily fall into self-pity as I go about the tasks of the day that seem mundane and endless. I can forget that these tasks serve to shape my children’s perspective of Christianity. My gaze can be very temporal and narrow, inward and downward.
I am grateful for scripture’s promise that encourages us not to grow weary in well doing, because, at the right time we will see a harvest.
So as I am attempting to homeschool, clean, cook, discipline, I am investing in the lives of my children for eternity; even when there is a baby to be consoled, math to be taught, a kitchen to be cleaned, and a shower to be had. This is the priviledge of motherhood.
Brenda-
Thank You so much for this post and your humility in the midst of it. I recently have had some time off work in which the Lord was specifically pointing me to value my position in serving him as a mother. To be strategic with encouraging my son, and not looking past the help God is giving me and being willing to accept it when provided but not become lazy or lost in self pitywhen the help I think should be ther is provided in a different way than I expect. I have found that the struggle to rely heavily on others can be magnified because I don’t have a usband coming home to take over anything and it is in these moments God reminds me he is my help and a far gretaer husband than any earthy man could ever be. Thank You friend for once again reminding me-same sin different circumstances.