Several years ago, when Pete and I first married, we lived in an apartment in North Jersey. We had to go to the laundry mat to do our laundry. Lots of people do this, no big deal, right? I DREADED it. Perhaps my dread stems from the time the owner asked me in broken English, “What’s the matter with you?” I had loaded the washer unevenly and the entire washer was shaking violently and making outrageous noises. Only, I didn’t realize it was a problem; hence, my friend’s inquiry. 
I may have disliked the job of putting away the laundry even more. My procrastination of this task was so bad that Pete would hum a carnival tune as he reached into the clean laundry bag to “win” the matching pair of socks “prize”. I am laughing even as I type this. I am so grateful for Pete’s humor and patience.
I knew, theoretically, what I desired in our home. I just had no idea how to get there. It no longer worked to think,” once this or that changes I will grow in this area”. If one area of life became easier, other challenges were added. I began to see that the area of home management was directly related to my role as helper and I needed to grow…and needed some help! Uh, oh, now I had to admit that I was a messy. What freedom!
Maybe you enjoy the peace that an orderly home affords, but have certain areas you just can’t get to. Perhaps you have not had the advantage of a mother who was able to train you in home management. It could be that you appreciate order, but don’t know how to get there. (I fit into each of these categories, to some degree). By design, we as women, have the unique privilege to look after the affairs of our household. This is one aspect of Biblical Femininity to which we should give our attention.
By God’s amazing work on the cross, God is no more pleased with us when our home is clean and in order or in utter disarray. Our standing before God is sure because of Christ alone. We can add nothing to it, not even a clean house. May God help us to grow, in our role as women, to reflect the powerful message of this glorious gospel, even as we manage our homes.
What’s a girl to do?
1. If you are married, ask your husband if your home management reflects his priorities. Make your husband’s priorities, your priorities.
2. If you are single, determine what priorities you have for your home and if your home reflects those priorities.
3. Study the topic. Read books about cleaning, organizing.
4. Use the Internet as a resource. Google “home organization” or other topics that you need help in.
5. Stalk people who excel in order and home management. Ask them questions. Observe their habits.
6. Most importantly, pray. Ask the Lord to help you grow. It is good to live in peace and order. He will help us.
Here is one particular resource that I continue to find helpful. I am not suggesting this book as a guide for spiritual direction, but as a practical guide with helpful tips.
The New Messies Manual by, Sandra Felton
What resources or helpful hints have you found useful in your quest for home organization?
Great post Grace! I did not take advantage of learning how to make a home from my mother and it wasn’t until years later when I was living by myself and had to learn it as I went along. Thankfully God has blessed me to be organized, but I still have room to grow and grace to receive in making a home and not just keeping a house.
I love that you wrote “once this or that changes, I will grow in this area.” I think for single gals, regardless of why they are single, it can be tempting to think that home-making is just for marriage. But no matter what season we are in, we can make our rooms, apartments or homes inviting and an oasis for all who enter.
And should God grant the gift of marriage, we can take the opportunity now to cultivate those gifts before entering marriage and wouldn’t that be a blessing to our husbands?!
~Sara
P.S. I am not a big laundry fan myself and I only do it for myself! I find I have to do it in small chunks before it gets to Mount Everest heights and then I get discouraged and give up and then I have no clean clothes!
Thank you so much for this, Grace! Just this week I was becoming aware that I tend to think about the cleanliness of my home impacting my standing before God. It sounds silly, but it is so tempting to think that if my home is messy God is displeased with me. God is loving and gracious no matter how many days worth of dishes are in the sink, because of Christ’s work on the cross!
There is one person I would like to commend who seems to me to excel in home management: Tracy Guyer. I’ve learned so much from her that I practically take notes whenever we have a conversation, because there is almost always some helpful nugget embedded in what she’s saying. One of the most helpful, simple things she taught me is not to save all my “deep cleaning” for one day, but rather, dust when I have an extra 20 minutes while dinner is in the oven, or sweep when I have 10 extra minutes before I need to leave to get somewhere. That principle helps my house stay cleaner and helps me fritter away less time doing frivolous things. Tracy is the Michael Jordan of biblical womanhood in the home.
Great point about the single gals, Sara.
Jen, I can relate to trying to earn God’s approval with a clean house. I can be more excited about the orderliness of my home than Christ’s finished work on the cross. Thankfully, God does not leave us there. Now Tracy Guyer as Michael Jordan? Not seeing it:). She is an amazing woman, gifted in many ways, though.
Hmmm…this sounds like a great topic for a “Women’s Only Vital Life” class! Where can I sign up?
Thanks for this post, Grace! An area where I would really like to grow. I’m going to suggest that Dan sings the Circus Tune from now on when looking for his matching socks in the CLEAN laundry basket! ha ha!
Great post, Grace. Something that I have learned from you, actually, is to do my best to finish something before I move on to the next thing. That is very hard for me, but I think I have grown over the years and it has helped me stay on top of life a little better. So for example, after breakfast, clean up right away. Fold laundry, put it away. Crawl out of bed, make the bed, etc. It gets tricky having little ones who are not really conducive to my “plan”, but having that as a goal sure helps.
Oops, I was logged in as Steve. That was certainly not from him, although he is Mr. Organized and would surely have something to say to all of us!!
Funny, Lori…I totally thought it was STEVE writing!! Thanks for clearing that! Oh, this topic. I long for perfect order…yet, it always stays beyond my grasp. And it’s no coincidence. God is loving me there. So what I see is Christ only ever is my perfection. But what I can do in my home is love to offer my work and ability to clean and beautify my home as an act of worship to God. This helps me not focus on my own preferences, but what will truly serve my family and God’s people. My one must…throw out, throw out, throw out! If I don’t use it weekly or bi-weekly, it doesn’t make the “stay” list. Also, I find that rearranging furniture, hanging a picture or changing out the window treatments (found some really lovely ones for $4 at the Crossway yard sale!)helps me gain fresh perspective to clean and beautify my home.
I actually am not Michael Jordan. I know I’m tall, but that is where the basketball talent ends. I can’t take credit for this home management knowledge. It was Cynthia who taught me to break down tasks into manageable chunks and do a little here and a little there and maintain things daily. I’m so encouraged that we all can learn from each other. That’s one more reason we need to live our lives relating to one another.
Oh, I just love this topic! “Keeping home” and “making a home” is one of my favorite things! There is so much challenge in it and so much opportunity for variety and the expression of our gifts. I get so many ideas when I go into other people’s homes. And we have such a wealth of variety in our church family…..I just love it!
I have also benefitted from many books. Probably on my “favorite” list would be the books by Deniece Schofield. “Confessions of an Organized Homemaker” is her premiere book. Her comments on planning have really helped me. (Chapter 2 & 3)
And it’s especially great when I resist sinful comparison, gratefully accept the limitations God has placed in my life (time, energy, money, etc.), and make it my goal to serve others’ needs and not my own. And the joy of knowing that NOTHING I do determines my secure relationship with Jesus……His love is established. Happy, happy topic!
Hey Grace!
As I was just writing to you, this is such a timely topic! I have been discussing this with a couple of friends recently, and it’s been interesting seeing how each one approaches things.
A resource I have found very helpful is the FlyLady website. http://www.flylady.net/
FlyLady wants to help people living in CHAOS (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syindrome). You can get sidetracked by all the gimicks and e-mails there if you aren’t careful, but the system itself is really great. What I loved most about FlyLady was the emphasis on starting with baby steps to form new habits and slowly adding new habits as you maintain what you have already learned. It’s actually very similar to the messies book you posted.
I love the 15 minute room rescues putting out fires in your hot spots. The rule to never get out what will take more than an hour to put away is priceless. Setting attainable goals and starting only as much as you can actually finish has always been a principle of keeping house that has helped me keep from becoming overwhelmed (even when everything is orderly!). I can be a perfectionist and either try to do everything at once, and completely exhaust myself…or figure it’s not even worth starting if I can’t finish it right now. So breaking things down and not starting what I can’t finish are key to me actually creating and maintining order.
Thanks for posting about this great topic!
I love this post and all of the comments. My favorite organizing website is http://www.orgjunkie.com….Organizing Junkie. It inspires me to do little things to de-clutter or even tackle big projects. I’ve learned alot from people in our church, and have regularly asked people for help in my organizing attempts!!! Thanks Grace for this post!
Thanks Grace for tackling a subject that often leaves women feeling inferior or superior.
A concept that helped my attitude towards the mundane repetitive tasks was to put them in a bigger picture. When I saw them as something that helps make my home peaceable and a sanctuary for my family it made them seem more purposeful and less dreary. Sandra Felton is one of my favorite authors on this subject. I first heard her on Dr. Dobson in the early eighties. At that time I was a #10 cleanie which was not good for us as a family as the house was clean and things were done but it lacked comfortableness. No one would accuse me of being a #10 anymore.
One of my messie friends told me that she tried to get help in the area of organization but when she went to the library all the organizational books were lost or overdue.:)